The last thing I want is for somebody to hear me speak or read what I write on this blog (or Lord willing, in a future book) and my father be wounded by the surprise. So...I called Monday night to ask if we could meet for dinner sometime in the next couple of weeks. I have never done that...well, I have a weird memory of meeting him at a restaurant as I child but don't remember details.
Anyhow, he wondered if something was up. I told him it was not an emergency; I just wanted to chat in private. He said he would receive his work schedule on Tuesday (yesterday) and then let me know when we can do it.
The problem and my reason for needing prayers...See my father pretty much lives in denial. Honestly, I think to admit his errors would just be too painful and without Jesus, completely impossible. I don't want to do anything to hinder our relationship or turn him away from God. I want God to give me words that aren't accusing or even directed necessarily at him. I want to focus on my feelings, but mostly, on how God used everything to make me who I am. I want him to know that when I talk it is about my God who redeems everything. I also want to tell him my battle isn't against flesh and blood but that my be offensive...that's why it can't be about what I want to say. I need God to give me the words and shut my mouth when I should not speak.
So, my father is notorious for not keeping commitments...Please pray if it is the Lord's will that we should meet now that he will call back to schedule a time. Secondly, please pray for the whole situation...my words and his reaction...and maybe both of our hearts too. I am expecting....well, I don't know...trying to avoid the ugly thoughts...but I am hoping for the best.
8 comments:
i am praying for you...i can't imagine how difficult that would be. thankfully...no matter what happens...your heavenly Father has got your back...
I will be praying for you to. But this is something I need to warn you about. It is for you. It is for you to release your feelings. To tell what is on your heart so you can move on.
It probably won't change him. He probably will deny. He will probably make you feel crazy.
So come in with clear expectations. It is to change and free you. Not change him.
I know I've been there many times.
But it is for you to get your courage back.
Be strong - you CAN do it.
sandie
As the daughter, is is not easy to approach a parent like this. I had a similar situation about 5 years ago.
Praying for God's words for you and an open heart for your father.
~ Ellen
Praying for you BB!
Please keep this in mind as you prepare yourself for this meeting. The Gospel is offensive and truth hurts. Truth will cut like a knife but it is sharp, clean and very effective in fixing a wound by removing the infection and scars. When truth is presented healing will follow quickly. Truth presented in love and forgiveness without enforcing blame, will show your dad the love of God and your maturity in Him.
A tip I can offer you is to present this in first person without saying 'you did this to me'. Eg: this happened, I feel, I forgive, I know, God tells me, I understand or I don't understand,...
Praying and praying for you hon,
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praying....
This is a very difficult thing for you. I have prayed for you and your father. I know God will help you.
I can really feel that it is very hard for you and really i am speecless. I believe though that God will be with you. You are in my prAyer.
I will pray. You are being very brave, God will bless you for it. Daddy God has you in the palm of His hand. Hug!
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